Moving in Together: Sorting thru What’s His and What’s Hers

January 5, 2016


After the honeymoon you must be thinking well now what? Well, if you hadn’t lived with your new husband before the marriage the answer is sometimes as blatant as the pile of boxes you’re buried under!

You’re still fantasizing you’re on that beach in Maui with your new husband relaxing in the sun, when all of a sudden “Hello?   Earth calling…can you hand me that box?” Wakes you up and snaps you back into reality. There you are, standing amidst the chaos of boxes in a bare room and your husband looking at you like you’re on Mars. That’s right, you’re moving into your new home! Congratulations on making your first step toward building a life with your new husband

Moving may not be the ideal way to come back from a vacation, but in long term perspective you’ll be happy to have a place to call your own. You can design at your leisure with the comfort of knowing you won’t be moving for a long time to come. No more saving boxes for the future. To the recycling they go!

After having all your labeled boxes put in their respective rooms, it comes down to the furniture and unpacking. The meshing of his and hers items usually ends up being, well just plain stressful in most scenarios. As ladies, we have an innate instinct to nest and make our homes beautiful; complete with fluffy pillows and beautiful decorations. As guys, they have the innate instinct to quickly throw items wherever they see first and check out their throne (the bathroom). Obviously these two instincts are polar opposites. It makes you wonder how men and women ever live together in peace??

Eventually everything will be sorted out, but after you start unpacking and putting stuff away together, debate will arise. The one question that strikes fear into the hearts of men across the nation goes a little something like this “um, why did you keep that? Didn’t you say you already got rid of that?” Yes, it’s his favorite (insert object here) back from the grave! The ugly, tattered, and broken down piece of junk soaked in the distinctive stench of bachelor pad and beer. At this moment your panic stricken man clings to his favorite thing like a child to it’s mother’s leg, searching for any possible answer he can scrounge up. When he starts off with “well…” or “I just…”, ladies resist the urge to jump down his throat and chuck his favorite thing out the front door. It is true we don’t want this atrocity in the new house fouling up everything it comes in contact with, but remember men have problems letting go of their favorite things. Especially things that remind them of the loss of what their buddies would say, “independence” or “bachelor life”. After all, they’re jealous they won’t be spending as much time with him as you do!

Since he’s having a hard time letting go, talk to him about his favorite item and find out why he can’t let it go. Sometimes you simply have to pry it out of his fingers and show him the nice new replacement item you got for him. For example, say his favorite thing is a recliner. Take him to a furniture store and have him sit in chairs until he lingers on one or keeps coming back to a particular one. Keep reminding him he’ll have plenty of time to make memories with the new one! Eventually he’ll break it in just like the old one and won’t let go of it either!

If you can get him to let go of his favorite thing, you’ve done a good job   Now that it’s gone you can get back to unpacking and decorating. Just do him a favor and keep in mind that you both will be living there! They say “a man is the king of his castle”. Just be sure you don’t make your man’s castle a Malibu Barbie Dream House with the fluffiest poodle on the block! We can keep his manhood somewhat in tact by asking him if he cares what the house is decorated like. More than likely he’ll say “I dunno” or “I don’t care, whatever makes you happy”. This is man speak for do what makes you happy but please don’t paint the house pink. In this instance try getting color/fabric swatches with somewhat neutral to natural color tones. For example, a clean beige wall base with pure white base board and ceiling crown accent. Then you can bring in a neutral colored couch that’s slightly larger darker than your walls and espresso colored end/coffee tables. This will accent your room. Now you can pick out colorful accessories for the rest of the room such as sage green or sky blue curtains and couch pillows, and table accents such as a sunshine yellow daffodil arrangements. These accents will brighten up your room and give you the option for quick and easy changes whenever you’re tired of your current look. This means you won’t have to drag out a paint roller or ladder every time you want a change! You can also bring in colorful wall art with red accents to have a nice color spectrum in your living room. This will make a warm and inviting home without making your husband want to run in the opposite direction   Trust me, he will appreciate your consideration!

Now that you’re all moved in and decorated, you can get back to your normal day to day life. Remember ladies, take your husband into consideration you both want to live together happily ever after.